I’ve been told a sermon should be about God and about ten minutes, and I’m not sure this one will be either of these, but bear with me.
Last week, as the ladies were planning this service, the blank line next to the word “SERMON” remained after the other lines began filling up. I asked Melissa if she dared me to do it, and then I was double- and triple-dog dared by others, and then finally Pam quadruple-dog-dared me, and I don’t think I’ve heard that term in about twenty years, so I was left with no choice.
I’d like to begin by sharing with you the reasons why I joined this church last year. Firstly, my BFF Cait Luff had, of course, made numerous mentions to her church ladies and their role and help in her life, and I realized I wanted some church ladies, too. I was in need of some kind of a support group myself. I’d had a scare with MS recently, my mom had been diagnosed with breast cancer, and although having two small boys is to be considered a blessing, not an affliction, that sometimes feels like a condition itself.
And so to come into this place, and to see women with grace, poise, and various kinds of beauty having survived family illnesses and family raising, was the encouragement that I needed.
I also felt I had--and continue to have--something to learn from so many of you. I remember a day last June wrestling my four-year-old into his car seat. I think I was called a “stinky poopyhead” no less than five times on the way downtown to church. I think I used prayer time to ask for the strength to make it through coffee hour without sending him home with someone else.
And then Elliot was at the pulpit explaining in a calm and steady voice how he intended to save Africa. I tend not to be a publicly emotional person, but Jane would never have known it the way I thanked her at the end of the service for reminding me why I bring my boys to church each week and for giving me hope that one day they will dress themselves without argument and will have a plan for making the world a better place.
There are many ways in which you’ve shown me that life is doable. Speaking of grace and poise, just seeing the calm and confidence with which Leslie has come through her heart attack is inspiration that I, too, can take on all the scary stuff that life has to offer and still keep my chin up.
And there’s Melissa, the hardest-working mom I know, who, after a full week’s work and single parenting, still finds time to quietly do so much for the church.
So many of us have so much to give to each other, and I’m thankful to all of you who have done so and have helped me to grow and become more confident as a part of this congregation.
Last week, we opened the Love Angel box and took a peek at the nominations. This further cemented my notion that I am in a good place surrounded by decent people. Sid and Pam took it by a landslide, but I so enjoyed the spirit and enthusiasm of all the nominations that I wanted to share some of them with you:
As our church goes into a time of change and uncertainty, I think it’s so important that we take Beth’s advice, offered to us a couple of weeks ago from the choir loft, and remain positive. There is so much always to be done to keep our church’s momentum going and our oil tanks filled, and sometimes, with all there is to do, we can forget why we’re here: because we’re all Christians.
Perhaps this time of change is our opportunity to usher in a new time of growth and strength. Perhaps we can use this time to reassess and remember why each of us his here and why we each work so hard to keep our church moving forward during times which are challenging all around.
In this spirit, I’d like to offer a simple suggestion. One which works wonders at my house. I’d like to suggest we live by these three rules:
1. Look after yourself.
2. Look after each other.
3. Use a nice voice.
At the Timm household, these rules cover almost all the bases. No need to throw a fit about putting on your snowsuit; just look after yourself. Don’t bop your brother over the head with that plastic farm tractor; in our family, we look after each other. Whining is not necessary in order to be fed your supper; at our house, we use a nice voice.
As I’ve learned through years of teacher training and staff development, the rules are always stated in the positive, and are always reinforced in a calm, quiet voice. (Which I do my very best to maintain.) And when Alden or Silas make good choices--putting on those shoes the first time Mama asks, helping to pick up the dinosaur puzzle even if it was really your brother who dumped it, or asking nicely for another turn on the Sit ‘n’ Spin, they earn “stars”, which are Velcroed to a chart and accumulated for “privileges”. Poor kids with their third-grade-teacher mom and her management style. But the truth is, in a chaotic environment, what I need in order to survive is tranquility and an emphasis on the positive.
So what might these rules mean at the Second Congregational Church? How could we use them to remain calm and positive amidst the uncertainties which we face? Well, “look after yourself” seems to be simple enough. If you turn the heat up, turn it down. If you use the kitchen, leave it tidy. “Look after each other” is another no-brainer, but I think vital to keep the pews filled. And this is what has kept me here, the feeling looked after.
But let’s consider the last rule, “use a nice voice”. My own personal favorite, and a rule I try to live by, too. Because I must, as a mother, a teacher, and a Christian. You can get all of your needs met, even--and especially--when you are frustrated by others, by using a nice voice. There really is no other way.
I’m five pages into this sermon, and haven’t used His name yet, so here goes: Jesus used a nice voice. What would Jesus do? Even if He felt people were being difficult and He was having a hard time getting along with them? He’d use a nice voice.
And if this church is to grow, and to gain new members, even when they’re not well-versed in years and years of tradition, and if it is to remain a stable and constant part of this community, we all need to use nice voices. And to work together. Only then will we earn our Velcro stars.